HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)
BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!
so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:
- in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
- shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
- lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
- uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
- ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
- ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS
Laverne Cox was purposefully kept off the Times 100 list.
Just let that sink in.
Oh and before you come at me, I do not care what you say because she was well over 90 fucking percent
If you don’t think that’s utterly fucking disgusting and transmisogynist then I have officially nothing to say to you and you may vacate my life immediately
This woman is a feminist icon. She has been raising awareness for trans rights everywhere. She is the driving force behind the Free CeCe docuementary. She is an inspiration to women everywhere
And they fucking kept her off the list.
Fuck all of your excuses this was blatant erasure and transmisogynist violence.
i want tattoos and self esteem
"Now I’m marrying my eldest son to a wicked little bitch from Highgarden.”
this looks like a trailer for a romantic comedy where gandalf is the beautiful protagonist who must choose which attractive leading man he wants to end up with
Fuck the king
today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because
swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac
ok but literally how