I want a movie about a kid who just so happens to be born a Classic Gothic Hero, but in modern day. His name would be like Byron Dangerfield or something.
Whenever he has EMOTIONS, there are claps of thunder and lightning. Every time he leans against a piece of furniture, it turns out to open a secret passageway leading to some dark secret, until eventually he’s just like “REALLY, GUYS?” All bad dreams are prophetic, even if it’s just that Starbucks will be out of pumpkin spice syrup the next day. Every girl he talks to swoons a lot and has a tyrannical heavy-browed father who are all played by the same actor. Ravens flock around him.
There are inexplicably paintings with moving eyes and moving suits of armor everywhere he goes, even McDonalds. Every time he moves to a new apartment, there is ALWAYS a screaming woman chained up in the room above his, and she invariably sets the place on fire. He’s so over it.
lmao 2 years ago not even the majority of marvel comics fans cared about the guardians of the galaxy and now I’m seeing reading lists popping up left and right and RYAN FUCKING SEACREST said “I am groot” on national radio but NO ONE WAS ASKING FOR A GOTG MOVIE BEFORE IT WAS ANNOUNCED
carol danvers has a rabid fanbase that has their own name and that creators are scared of when they show up at cons. you think iron man had something like the carol corps when they decided to give him a movie? YOU THINK ROCKET RACCOON OR GROOT HAD A FANBASE CLAMORING FOR THEM TO GET A MOVIE????
get the fuck outta here with this weak “no one knows female superheroes like they know marvel’s big three” like DUH marvel has spent 6 YEARS making sure everyone knows who captain america, iron man, and thor are by giving them their own movies. stop defending kevin feige’s weak slimy bullshit you soggy-assed milkbags
Me: [makes really judgmental personal comment] but I mean do you; live your life.
don’t get it twisted like i respect bugs for being the best they can be in spite of their specific assigned flesh prisons and their ecological significance but they need to stay the fuck away from me